今天，在没有预料到的情况下，偶遇了这些话
“人走了，你不能刻意为了怕自己难过然后就故意避开。
你应该要时时刻刻逼自己去想念他，看他。
这样他在天堂才会觉得我们没有忘记他”
我也是这样想的
其实这就是我每天必经的挣扎
我总觉得每次想念你，你在那里都会收到讯息或感应
所以如果一天没看你或者想得不够
你如果没收到感应，应该会难过吧
可是又觉得你都在最完美最无忧无虑的地方了
应该不会为这种事烦心了吧
你是快乐的天使了呀。
Monday, September 3, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
the universe works in a strange way.
they say time heals wounds, i would like to think time allows wounds to settle. smells that are left behind diffuse over time. one day, you miss the smell, you look for it and you realise it has faded. your mind builds new images, new memories, not replacing the old ones, but slowing pushing the older ones to another space at the back, without you noticing. they are there, but they do not surface so easily, but you know they are always there. it is not so apparent yet, but i do slowly notice that sad moments leave, and more happy moments stay and surface. on days when i can breath better, i can actually manage a smile when i think of you. i like that because i imgaine you will like that. on cloudy days, i wonder if you can actually read my mind, because i am so afraid if you cannot, it may seem to you i am mangaing life fine without you. and then i feel bad for trying to maintain that smile. days are all like that, sometimes the sun shines, sometimes comes a sudden downpour, some days are just more grey and others more peaceful. but i do think the peaceful ones are on the up. on nights where i refuse to close my eyes, i browse through the photos and the messages. they remind me of how constantly you asked me to be happy, told me you asked GOD to give me the most beautiful things, and that i am an angel. it is like you knew and had all these reminders planted all around me, to tell me what you wanted for me is not what i am becoming now, fighting with people, fighting for things, but not knowing what i am fighting for. i am evil. but you always find a way to come back and tell me i am meant to be happy and kind, because i guess you know, even if i do not do it for myself, i will do it for you. i try everyday. 你看见吗?
they say time heals wounds, i would like to think time allows wounds to settle. smells that are left behind diffuse over time. one day, you miss the smell, you look for it and you realise it has faded. your mind builds new images, new memories, not replacing the old ones, but slowing pushing the older ones to another space at the back, without you noticing. they are there, but they do not surface so easily, but you know they are always there. it is not so apparent yet, but i do slowly notice that sad moments leave, and more happy moments stay and surface. on days when i can breath better, i can actually manage a smile when i think of you. i like that because i imgaine you will like that. on cloudy days, i wonder if you can actually read my mind, because i am so afraid if you cannot, it may seem to you i am mangaing life fine without you. and then i feel bad for trying to maintain that smile. days are all like that, sometimes the sun shines, sometimes comes a sudden downpour, some days are just more grey and others more peaceful. but i do think the peaceful ones are on the up. on nights where i refuse to close my eyes, i browse through the photos and the messages. they remind me of how constantly you asked me to be happy, told me you asked GOD to give me the most beautiful things, and that i am an angel. it is like you knew and had all these reminders planted all around me, to tell me what you wanted for me is not what i am becoming now, fighting with people, fighting for things, but not knowing what i am fighting for. i am evil. but you always find a way to come back and tell me i am meant to be happy and kind, because i guess you know, even if i do not do it for myself, i will do it for you. i try everyday. 你看见吗?
Sunday, July 1, 2012
i hate to hear "i can understand how you feel". yes hate.
and no, you DO NOT UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
just like how i do not understand you and why you did this and that. but at least i do not lie in your face and pretend to understand.
again, you do not understand and will never understand.
so back off and stop acting like a know-it-all and solve-it-all and please treat me like an individual.
bye.
and no, you DO NOT UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
just like how i do not understand you and why you did this and that. but at least i do not lie in your face and pretend to understand.
again, you do not understand and will never understand.
so back off and stop acting like a know-it-all and solve-it-all and please treat me like an individual.
bye.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Day 117
hello sweetheart baby.
you are at the back of my head all the time, lurking around.
take as long as you like, as much as you want.
it is all for you and you only.
i lost track of time and dates.
i lost track of day and night.
i lost track of emotions.
but it is all okay.
let's take as long as we like.
this is one thing that is up to us.
big hugs and kisses.
love.
you are at the back of my head all the time, lurking around.
take as long as you like, as much as you want.
it is all for you and you only.
i lost track of time and dates.
i lost track of day and night.
i lost track of emotions.
but it is all okay.
let's take as long as we like.
this is one thing that is up to us.
big hugs and kisses.
love.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
i love work
there are days when work really gets me down.
i ask what do all the people want from me.
there are more days when i feel my love for my work.
when you are loving it, then it is not work anymore.
i always remember to count my blessings for what i am being paid to do now. and for people at work who also take me as their friend.
some entries back i said i hate the fruit.
i take it back now officially (:
i ask what do all the people want from me.
there are more days when i feel my love for my work.
when you are loving it, then it is not work anymore.
i always remember to count my blessings for what i am being paid to do now. and for people at work who also take me as their friend.
some entries back i said i hate the fruit.
i take it back now officially (:
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
day 87
dearest sweetheart,
how many days have it been already? the days seem to go by quickly, but yet very slowly when i think about the days i tried to get by. there seems to be nothing left to say, although i sometimes feel i have not let anything out yet. macdonalds at east coast is gone. for good. i remember the last time we were there. i remember us taking a walk along the beach. i remember our feet sinking into the warmth of the sand. i remember you facing the sun and me shunning it. perfect when you hugged me and hid my face in your shoulders, away from the sun. i remember picking up a casuarina and bringing it home, as if knowing it was something worth keeping to remember the last trip. it is still with me. i remember the green tea in a plastic cup we left behind in the sand. i remember your face staying tanned the few days after, and that you said you miss the sun and liked the tan. that was our last time soaking in sunlight together. that was also the last breakfast we had out of home. i also took a picture of the morning sun on the drive there. it was a beautiful day.
isn´t it strange that sunrise can also look like sunset? maybe that is just like in life, you think you embarked on a new journey but then it can also be an end, vice versa.
the sky is so vast, i wonder where you are now.
i miss you every day. help.
how many days have it been already? the days seem to go by quickly, but yet very slowly when i think about the days i tried to get by. there seems to be nothing left to say, although i sometimes feel i have not let anything out yet. macdonalds at east coast is gone. for good. i remember the last time we were there. i remember us taking a walk along the beach. i remember our feet sinking into the warmth of the sand. i remember you facing the sun and me shunning it. perfect when you hugged me and hid my face in your shoulders, away from the sun. i remember picking up a casuarina and bringing it home, as if knowing it was something worth keeping to remember the last trip. it is still with me. i remember the green tea in a plastic cup we left behind in the sand. i remember your face staying tanned the few days after, and that you said you miss the sun and liked the tan. that was our last time soaking in sunlight together. that was also the last breakfast we had out of home. i also took a picture of the morning sun on the drive there. it was a beautiful day.
isn´t it strange that sunrise can also look like sunset? maybe that is just like in life, you think you embarked on a new journey but then it can also be an end, vice versa.
the sky is so vast, i wonder where you are now.
i miss you every day. help.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)